dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Randomize
