Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
