Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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