Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
