If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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