I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
