Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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