I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
