How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
