According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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