there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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