You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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