mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
