last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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