I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
