I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
