You're completely useless in the revolution.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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