Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I need moral support for this bender
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
