i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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