it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
