ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
