don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
