Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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