You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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