do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
