call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?