Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
