I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
