NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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