official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
