Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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