so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
