your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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