The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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