id be glad to
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
ttyl tear gas
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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