thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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