What did we do last night that was yellow?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
