I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
