He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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