At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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