Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
