Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
