I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
