i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
