Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize