what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm always down for nudity.
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