It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
