good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
