Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
