Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
