Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
