Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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