I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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