I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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