sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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