on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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