Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
